The Treasures That Moving Day Uncovers...

So my aunt & uncle moved to St. Augustine recently and during the moving process, they uncovered some memorabilia that they thought I'd be interested in. They couldn't have been more right.

Lemme introduce you to Lee Ann Oleson - Brown - Salano.

My Mom. The reason for my existence, the 'wind beneath my wings' so to speak. Sorry folks but there's no mom on earth who loved more than my Mom loves me. I wish I knew when this picture was taken but I'm guessing from the beehive-do it must've been early 1970's. Check out that smile, those eyes. Full of dreams and a promising future, wouldn't you say? This picture was obviously taken before the demands of raising three children - myself and my brother only 15 months apart and the 'baby' 2 more years later and obviously a 'blessed accident' - and years with an adulterous husband tried to take the sparkle outta those eyes and put some wrinkles in the face...

She is a beauty - always was. I always felt honored when people told me 'Awwww... you look just like your Mom!' She was brilliant, funny, interesting... and when I was a teenager - overbearing, irritating and ignorant. You know that period of your life that you go through and feel that your parents are against you?? I was convinced she was out to ruin my life.

But I learned, she enriched my life more than she ever knew. I have a vivid memory of a time in my early 20's, sitting at my desk at my work when it hit me - my Mom wasn't out to ruin me at all. As a matter of fact, she did know quite a lot about a lot of things!! She did care about me and love me unconditionally!! Eureka! What a discovery that was. I immediately bought a Hallmark card where I scratched out my feeble revelations of how I wish I had known that she was right all along and if I had known this all those years ago (back when I was 15 years old) I wouldn't have treated her so badly all that time. I declared my love, devotion and gratitude to her and that I would try to be 'better'. But you know what?? She knew I'd come to that day all along... musta been hell for her waiting for me to grow up. If it had've been me, I woulda killed somebody like me.

My Mom is gone now - died from breast cancer years ago at the age of 61 - but I'll never, EVER forget her or what she's done for me. Remembering her strength makes me strong today. Remembering her compassion and selflessness makes me more compassionate. Remembering her laughter - especially at some of the dumbest jokes ever written makes me smile. It is an honor to be her daughter.

P.S. To my brother & sister ---> don't get your panties in a wad... we all know Mom loved you both too but she loved me more cuz she had me first!! ROFLMAO ;)

Gimme My Shades... The FUTURE Looks So Bright!

Thought we should update you guys on some things that Fathead and Madseason have been dealing with lately. All things are good, we are busy (as usual!), still loving life, are looking forward to Thanksgiving and feeling the pressure of getting the Christmas holiday shopping in gear… (…the added pressure resulting from retail starting advertising for the Christmas season BEFORE Halloween… WTF was that all about?? Christmas displays up and holiday music playing in all the stores in October?!?! Try to shop for a Michael Myers or Freddie Krueger costume with ‘Silent Night, Holy Night’ playing in the background!

“Excuse me salesperson but what aisle do you keep your vampire teeth and containers of blood on? Next to the tinsel and the manger scenes? A Merry Christmas to you too!”

Something’s not right about that experience. Like the months of November and December don’t give me enough time to stress over what to buy my loved ones – let’s add the month of October too! Double doses of Wellbutrin anyone?? Wonder if I can fit Prozac in a Pez dispenser…)

For a few weeks now, I’ve been considering a job change and am currently in negotiations for literally my ‘dream job’. I love where I work and was glad to have the opportunity to get back into the project controls field of construction management – however, I have been communicating with a company that I worked for years ago for the most ideal position, insane pay increase, awesome benefits, potential for advancement out the wazoo… This in conjunction with the fact that Fathead has been facing caretaker issues for her aging parents who live in Tennessee - that situation continues to become increasingly more critical. We’ve presented them with several options including relocating to live with us (which would require us to buy a bigger home - and more meds!). 'It’s too far,' they say. 'Florida sucks,' they say. Well, I paraphrase but that’s basically what we get from them. Independent retirement community? 'Too expensive – plus there are OLD people there.' Hmmmmm. Anyway, after a shot of tequila Fathead calls her mom and tries to counsel her. When she hangs up from these conversations with her mom, I have to restrain her from pulling her hair out. In any case, resolving her parents’ living situation is top on our list of ‘things to do’.

The new job possibility will require relocation and will move us closer to her parents. If it all works out, it will be a ‘no brainer’ decision and a win-win for all involved. However, relocation presents a whole host of other problems (renting out our Florida home, finding a new place to live, employment transfer possibilities for Fathead and – this is most important – what will we do if we have to move away from Rick at Florida Custom Cycles?!?!? Wonder if he’s interested in tagging along…)

Nothing has been decided yet but we are optimistic. I’m a firm believer that all things happen for a really good reason and if it happens, great. If not, that’s great too. In the meantime, it consumes a great deal of time and consideration and has put us in ‘limbo’ with making any future plans in the next few weeks. Wish us luck and we’ll keep you posted!

P.S. If this DOESN'T work out, I'm gonna need Dr. Kevorkian's number. Not for myself, mind you... but for a couple of Tennessee residents...

LOL! Just kidding... just kidding...

Looking for somewhere to spend that extra money for the Holidays??

The Fathead came up with a great suggestion last week. Normally she and I try to do something special for others each Christmas season - we are so blessed and want to be a blessing to others... For the past couple of years we volunteered to 'adopt a family' through a local organization and tried to provide Christmas for families who weren't financially able to do for themselves. It was always fun to shop for others and we enjoyed it. Plus, it was an opportunity to buy those noisy, obnoxious toys for those little ones to make their parents' Holiday season more exciting!! (Scroll down to Kid Story #3: Justification for a Plastic Bird) LOL! Buying stuff the parents won't buy for their kids is a childless person's mission in life! I think my sister still harbors resentment for that Fisher Price Corn Popper thingey I gave my niece all those years ago...

However last week Fathead said "Let's adopt a soldier this year..."

FANTASTIC IDEA! Why didn't I think of that sooner?!?!?

So Google presented us with OperationMilitaryPride.org

They let you request a specific branch of the military as well as the gender of the deployed military person. A few minutes after I sent the email, I received a response that Fathead and I are the proud 'adopters' of a girl!! Her name is Veronyka and although we don't know (or aren't allowed to know...) much about her, we were given her name, her mailing address and her 'wish list'. You'd be amazed at how little she's asked for - and how easy it is to meet her needs. Candy? Gum? Magazines? Stationery and mailing envelopes? Playing cards and poker chips? Geez... This is all doable!

After bugging OperationMilitaryPride.org with questions about her, they offered her email address. Yayyyy! Instead of waiting more than a month to contact her (we mailed her letters with pictures the same day we received her address) she responded within the same day! She finds it humorous that she's been 'adopted' but obviously appreciates the contact - and the support. We get emails from her daily now and found out that she's in the Navy, has been in the military for 12 years, has a husband and a small son here in the States and is currently stationed in Iraq.

What an awesome - and rewarding - opportunity this has become for the Fathead and I. Now our grocery shopping includes looking for those things that 'our Veronyka' might like... putting aside small treats to go in 'our Veronyka's' next care package. Knowing she's there in our military doing her job for US - she's there for US - has put an entirely different perspective on our Holiday season. Criticize if you want but I totally support our military and know that our country would not be here today as we know it if it weren't for our military. Pontificate on the brutality of war if you like but know this: it is necessary. Go read your history books. Our military is our strength - and for those who think we can benignly sit back and debate our way to resolution with radical extremist governments are ignorant. And whether you agree with this or not, the military personnel that are involved are just doing their jobs. There's no need to penalize them because there are those who don't support their 'employer'. Veronyka - and all the other thousands of military troops - are serving for ME, I am grateful and appreciate the opportunity to do something for them.

Plus - IT'S FUN! We just sent our first two boxes - 'care packages' - loaded with candy, packs of gum, stationery and envelopes, personal hygiene stuff like razors, soap, Chapstick, granola bars, stockings loaded with toys - yes, TOYS! - like Slinkies, Frisbees, Nerf balls, playing cards... Oh yeah - and Veronyka is getting her own Santa hat. Figured those might be hard to come by over there... She will certainly be the best dressed soldier at Christmas!

I just wish Fathead had've thought of this sooner. We've got a lot of making up for lost time to do!

Photo courtesy of OperationMilitaryPride.org

Ho ho ho everyone!

Non-PC Joke Of The Day

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown." The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weighs 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "TURN AROUND!"



::giggle::

I LOVE jokes like that!

Have a nice day!

Yet Another Display of BMW Owners' Arrogance...

Okay, for those who haven't picked up on it yet, I ride a motorcycle. I love riding. I ride as often as possible for as long as possible (and by the way, thanks Harley Davidson for the 4 gallon gas tank! No need to stop for over 200+ miles - unless I have to pee!!) Riding is a passion of mine - a very empowering, mind-clearing, therapeutic, thrilling, often dangerous passion. I have met some of the most awesome people who share this same passion and have had some incredible times!!

Bikers ride all kinds - from rusted-out heaps to sport bikes and top dollar cruisers with more chrome bling than Tiffany's. These people are CEO's and doctors and lawyers and blue collar workers and women of all ages and military veterans and people from all walks of life. Riding a motorcycle puts you into a community of others where everyone shares the same passion and it has become more common to hear among the motorcycle community 'it doesn't matter what you ride as long as you ride'. The biker image may initially elicit thoughts of apprehension and suspicion of shady characters looking for some unsuspecting soul to harrass - however, that image is changing. There are still the 'Easy Rider' types - but I'd be willing to bet if you needed help, these scary types with the long ponytails, copious earrings and covered with tats would be the first one to step up, open their wallets, offer their hand or give you the shirt off their back. These are usually the ones who attend charity events because they want to help. They are loyal, committed, generous - but don't fuck with them.

Not one of these awesome people that I've met ride BMW motorcycles. Not one. Perhaps it has been coincidence that I've never met a BMW rider cuz they're out there, somewhere. But perhaps it is because of an attitude like this:

I presented the flyer and info about this ride to our governing officers on Oct. 30th. I had printed the flyer prior to the meeting and didn't really pay much attention to it. Upon presentation, many of our officers noticed the image and were appauled that such an image was used to attract us and other motorcyclists in Jacksonville. I too am very offended by the image and embarassed to have even mentioned it.

Is this what *** (name of company removed) thinks is a good representation of motorcyclists today ?
Do you think for one second that the outlaw bikers are the ones that support all the charity events around the country each year ??
Are these the type of riders you are trying to attract for your ride ??

Many uneducated members of the public already think of motorcyclists as being scary outlaw types anyway. This flyer only helps to perpetuate such a stereotype. We will not be participating. Perhaps we'll come down and protest. I have already spoken to my friends in the HOG club as well.

Mr. Arrogant Windbag (name of asshole removed)
President BMW Owners of North East FL.

This is the image that this loser has an issue with:

(Keep in mind this Ride is sponsored by a utility company and the gray helmet is supposed to slightly resemble a hardhat...)

Mr. Arrogant Windbag:

Okay... first of all, the event is to benefit a charitable organization (a large well-known agency) so why you are choosing to be an ass will not only reflect negatively on you and your 'Club' (yawn...) but you are hurting a host of others who will never be the recipient of the funds that could have been raised because of your elitist attitude.

Second of all, bikers support charity events and you'd know this if you ever went to one. All those poker runs? They are for a purpose you idiot! Bikers are extremely generous and are the first to organize a function to help a downed biker and his/her family, a life threatening illness, contributing to national agencies such as United Way or March of Dimes...

Thirdly - and probably most importantly - who in the hell are you calling 'outlaw bikers'?? Anyone who doesn't ride a BMW? If you knew anything about the motorcycle community, you would not toss this term around lightly. Your arrogance is clouding any better judgment you should have... It's obnoxious people like YOU, Mr. Windbag, who perpetuate the negative images and you would do well to remember that people are PEOPLE and you are no better than me or anyone else.

What people ride is their personal preference, Mr. Windbag - just like you'd never catch me spending one dollar on a BMW motorcycle. Never. It is my preference. You are NO ONE'S JUDGE, Mr. Windbag and before you criticize the personal choices of others, you should concentrate on looking in the mirror. Seems you have a host of issues of your own to deal with.

Oh... and Dennis Hopper?? I LOVE YOU MANNNNNNN!

WARNING: Unabashed Blog Promotion here...

(why am I posting a 'warning' sign on my own blog?!?!? Geez... like I might offend someone... It's MY fucking blog and I can do what I want! If there's no where else in this world I can do that, I can do that HERE dammit!)

::shrug::

Onto the blog promotion:

I've stumbled onto this guy's blog - can't remember exactly from where - but I'm glad I did. This guy is an absolute RIOT! Go see him and say 'Hi'!! I've spent waaaayyyyy too much time over there today but if you get a minute, pop in.

Another warning: a 'spew alert' is in effect, trust me. He's so 'in your face' about everyday things that you can't help become an instant fan!!